Resistance arises. I feel like I want to change things.

Try to pull. Try to push.

“Go away.” I tell the thoughts in my head. “Leave me alone.” I think towards my opponent.

My body tightens. My thoughts can only focus on one thing. I don’t see the horizon anymore. My whole center is filled with resistance.

Then I catch a glimpse of it. Just one instant seeing myself from the outside. One second to interrupt the spiral.

“I don’t think that’s how I will solve this conflict.”

And I start to accept. Everything as it is.

Okay I am here. Okay this feels uncomfortable. Okay something in me is very scared.

At that stage it switches. And I am no longer against myself. Suddenly I understand I am actually just scared.

Scared to loose my balance.

Scared of the other ones intentions.

Scared to loose myself.

As soon as I start holding my scared self by the hand.

Compassion.

I remember my strength.

I let go of control.

And I remember that no one but myself can remove my boundaries from around my center.

Suddenly I explore with curiosity. And notice that I have no idea who my vis à vis actually is. I remember that they have fears too. They are scared, they have their own traumas. And most importantly they are probably busy with their own assessment wether or not they can trust me with their vulnerability.