The books I read: “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach.

“We may spend our lives seeking something that is actually right inside us, and could be found if we would only stop and deepen our attention. But distracted, we spend our life on our way somewhere else.” _p.308

Why this one?

While cycling to Istanbul and many hours of thinking connected to that quest, I couldn’t help but notice a few recurrent things from the past showing up in my head. A bit surprised these memories where still causing me to feel anger or some extend of regret, I started to wonder how I could resolve them. Since in the past, there wasn’t much actual “doing” that would be possible, the situations had passed, I couldn’t undo nor change my reactions or the choice of my words.

In that matter the title of Tara Brach’s book spoke to me: “Radical Acceptance”

“Why not?”, I thought. In the end I prefer any approach towards my personal growth over mindlessly regretting or repeating things from the past, and acceptance sounded like an interesting way of exploring that. Quite reassuring as well to be presented with the solution that “all I had to do” was to accept things. Even though that is often far easier said than done.

Radical?

Maybe because change always seems radical, especially when it lays in front of us.

Reading about new ways of how to deal with and learn from the past, rather than to be stuck in it, sounded promising enough to me, to buy the book.

Sceptic at first, thinking it might be all a bit too spiritual for my liking, I eventually had to put the book down for a while because it was a bit too intense and too relevant. Nevertheless I enjoyed all the way through, with a little break and over the time of about two months.

What was it all about? Or; “The parts that resonated the most with me.”

Feeling emotions as a physical thing, rather than an intellectual abstract.

Accepting fears and ask for the desires behind.

Pausing and feeling into any moment, before, if even giving a reaction.

We are drawn to act and react on everything, but often learning and growing takes place in calmness and observation.

Sometimes it is better to pause the process of accepting or healing, when it feels like “too much”, everything worth wile takes time. In that matter any spiritual practice can help but also evoke even deeper fears, that can be out of our control to handle by ourselves.

“What do you/I really need?”

We are all looking for the same things, happiness, compassion, love. Every random stranger that passes you in the street has similar wants and fears than yourself. No one is by themselves neither in suffering nor in joy.

Compassion.

We tend to search for solutions outside, when we find everything inside ourselves.

Care.

Be patient.

Trust yourself, others and the process.

Forgiving ourselves or others doesn’t mean we are approving that thing we need to forgive. Rather forgiving is an act of letting go and making space for new experiences and freedom.
Accepting something doesn’t mean to approve it either. Rather acceptance lays the first intention for growing, healing or learning.

Change takes time, just the honest intention is all we can give sometimes. And that is enough.

Be present.

Let go of the story.

“What we know of other people
Is only our memory of the moments
During which we knew them. And they have
Changed since then…” _{p.265 The Cocktail Party by T.S. Eliot}

Around 300 pages later I feel like everyone “should” read that book. Or put into other words I feel that a few of my thinking patterns or reactions have changed for the better. Which I find tremendously exciting and inspiring, to the extend, that I want everyone around me to feel that same exciting inspiration of revelations. Which you might experience through reading that book, or you might not, so no you don’t “have” to read it. But I still wanted to let you know about the inspiration it provoked in me. And hope you enjoyed that.

What do you really need?

What book did you currently read, that really struck your way of thinking?

Thank you for passing by, feel free to share your thoughts, I’d appreciate that and enjoy your week!

All photos and words are owned by ©kesityu taken and written by myself except the quotes from the book “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach.